Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
