weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
