I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
