I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize