i just wanna soil my oats bro
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Randomize
