Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Randomize
