We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
