Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize