I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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