Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
