Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
