Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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