Got a toothbrush?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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