you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
