the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Of course I have a pirate flag
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
