Apparently you make a good broom.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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