Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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