I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
