Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
