I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
