Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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