before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
