be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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