I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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