i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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