hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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