I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
