Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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