There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
