So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
