hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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