I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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