So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
