Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
