It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
