Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize