Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
