Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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