You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So I just went to clothing optional bar
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
