I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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