so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I pour the whiskey from now on
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize