Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
