I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
