This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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