I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The chlamydia really affected his face.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
