I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
