I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
