I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
