if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
tell me about the fingering
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