Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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