im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize