He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
