I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
