We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
