my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
