Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Small penises have feelings too.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
