How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
