Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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