so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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