Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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