Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Randomize
