they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize