I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize