Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
