okay pat passed out under dana's car
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
