I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
my being single is dangerous.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
