you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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