I cockslap morals
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize