he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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