I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
