I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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