just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
