I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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